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Wednesday, 30 November 2011

I take Adderall now.....?

FINALLY got some meds to help me with my terrible ADD.
I'm trying to ignore that weight loss and loss of appetite are side effects. i don't need to know that. don't need old habits to surface.
gonna have to force myself to eat regular meals.
doc said i would last for 9-11 hrs..... seems to wear off after 4hrs.
first day taking it.
it was weird.
obviously its worn off completely by now cuz i totally don't have the patience to form sentences.
but i need answers.
How is it supposed to feel?
how do i know if its working how it should or not?
is it normal to feel nothing for 45 min, then spastic for 20, focused for 4 hrs, and then dead and zoned out for like 5 hrs?? i took 10mg at 1:30 and then another at 5:30 or 6ish. doc said i could take 2 if i didn't feel anything from 1.... i figured it wearing off fast counted too...
i feel kinda shitty now but it is really late so thats kinda irrelevant.
anyway, i can't decide how much to take tomorrow... should i try only one 10 mg pill for the whole day or take 2 at once or try 4 hrs apart again or 6 hrs apart or what??? idk what to do.
it helps for those first 4 hrs. but the rest of the time i feel so weird and off and like i could just stare at the wall and not think for hours and hours (opposed to my normal staring at wall and thinking useless bits of meaningless nothing and yet still thinking.)
i stood in the middle of my room at like 10 doing absolutely nothing and not moving. for like 10 minutes.... it also make me kinda dizzy? And like distant and.... idk...... weird....
but i did get so much more school work done than normal today so i know it works. i just cant decide how to take it from now on.
i hate taking meds.
it feels so...... idk..... weak of me...? unnatural.. wrong... lame stupid weird unhealthy idk. i just don't like it.
its actually a generic form of adderall...... ummm.. i think its..... dextroamp-amphet er 10 mg ..... somethin like that... idk.....
if anyone knows anything about adderall or generic adderall or ADD or meds for it or anything that seems helpful at all. I'd really appreciate some type of feedback so i'm not so alone with all this crazy uncomfortableness.

Sunday, 04 September 2011

Here's some motivation, bitches ;) <3

Dedication is my new soul mate.

Still think you don't have enough energy, motivation, or time to exercise?

No energy?
Today: Do yoga. Its easy and its better than doing nothing. plus it will give you more energy.
In the future: Eat healthy, drink water, get more sleep.

No motivation?
Today: Lay on the floor until you're bored enough to do some crunches. Find some frustration and use it to push yourself to do more. Get angry, burn it off.
In the future: take away something you really want to do, like watch ur fav. show or getting on FB, and don't let yourself do it until you've done at least 10 reps of calisthenics for abs, butt, arms, and back.

No time?
Today: bitch please. Just do some high intensity interval training. You only need like 10-20 min. a day.
In the future: multi task; study on the treadmill, practice breathing and tightening abs while exhaling so you can tone abs any time of day.

I need to work on current lifestyle. So, just a reminder for myself, things I'm gonna work on:

MORE SLEEP!!!!! (my skin is really suffering, if you've got bad skin to begin with, make sure u get plenty of sleep!!)
Less snacking(it hasn't been crazy but i could do better)
More exercise(i want to be crazy awesome toned and gorgeous, plus i've been neglecting my ass, it definitely needs work!)
Stop procrastinating, accept that i'm capable of finding happiness no matter where I am, and apply to transfer to university next semester.
Find a freaking job already!!
Train the crazy puppy destroying the house.
Find a guy (not a must for happiness, but it would still be nice.)

Have a lovely day!! :)